Tuesday, 27 September 2016

Learning To Embrace My Height

I'm a short ass. A shrimp. A midget. Tiny weeny. Fun sized. Petite. Whatever else people see appropriate to call me (fyi it is never appropriate to call me a shrimp or a midget.) I'm just under 5"3 and I'm short and it's something I've always struggled with since I was young girl. I wasn't always small. In primary school I was just of an average height and then I just....stopped growing. I've probably been the same height since I was around 14, no matter how many wishes I made to be 5'8 or how much I wanted to be "model height", my bones wouldn't get any longer and I stayed ay 5'3 and at the age of almost 23, I think my opportunity for a growth spurt has passed.

I'll be honest, I've always hated my height. Ever since I was younger I associated being tall with being beautiful and as a teenager and even a young adult, I always felt like a stumpy child next to a tall woman. I tore myself apart for my height, refused to wear certain things because I thought they "didn't suit me" because they were longer on me than they were on the 5'10 model on the website and I barely owned a pair of flats, never mind wore them. However, on my recent trip to Madeira, I took....flat shoes. *GASP*. This was something I'd never done before (hence ripping my feet apart in heels walking around Rome last year) and I felt great. 


As I've grown older and matured, I've realised that beauty comes in all shapes and sizes and not necessarily in the tall, skinny stereotype that most famous women are. Since beginning my blog, I've seen beauty everywhere. In the tallest of us to the shortest, in the skinniest to the curviest and in every skin colour, hair colour and anything else you can think of. I've learnt that just because that tall, thin woman over there is beautiful, that doesn't mean you aren't beautiful. You don't have to be pretty like them, you can be pretty like you even if you are the total opposite of what they are. It doesn't take anything away from you, and you don't have to take anything from them. 

The thing that annoys me is that people feel they can comment on your insecurities. My height has always been one of my biggest insecurities and I've realised that people feel entitled to comment on you, no matter what. Yeah, I can take jokes about things but they're not always jokes and when people call you things and point out your insecurities ("wow, you're so short!!!" *eye roll*) it can make me think about it for days. Am I really that small? Does it ruin the way I look? Should maybe I wear heels next time? No, no and NO. As I've matured, I've learnt that I can't change my height or the way I look, no matter how many stars I wish on or no matter how many imaginary inches I add on to my height (I spent years lying to myself that I was 5'4 until the nurse confirmed last month I was indeed just under 5'3) and that we should learn to stop criticising both ourselves and others.

I'm finally happy with my height. I don't pick myself apart for it, I don't take photos to try and make myself look taller anymore and I wear what I want, whether it's "too long" or "not right" or anything else. Sometimes I do look at those beautiful tall girls and think "omg why am I not tall?!" but then the grass is always greener isn't it? So many tall girls on Twitter have said how they wish they were small! I think the top and bottom of it is, we need to work on accepting ourselves and others. We're all different shapes, sizes, heights and weights and you know what? We can all be beautiful.

Amy x
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