The other day I realised that the blogging world, and the world in general, is full of the "I'm not good enough" mentality and I know I'm one of the worst culprits for it. Even when I know that I'm good at something, there's a little voice in my head that says "nope, you're definitely not good enough for that" and I realised it even more so the other day when I was talking to Karl about what I was going to do after graduation. He suggested full time blogging and my immediate reply was "I'm not good enough to be a full-time blogger" and that's when it really sunk in that I am my own worst enemy. Because why the hell am I not good enough to be a full-time blogger? Why am I not good enough to pursue a career that I'd love? Why am I not good enough to pass all of my exams? I think that now in the age of the internet where people are constantly bragging about how much money they earn, comparison can kill our positive attitudes.
You can barely scroll down Facebook without seeing someone uploading a photo of their flash new car or their new designer handbag (heck I've done this myself!) or even their payslip showing how much they earned that month (yes, really) and in the blogging world this can be even worse. Of course, I'm over the moon for anyone who is successful and see them as an inspiration. However, in the age of social media and the internet, it's difficult to escape from the braggers and the talkers and those people who just like to shove it in your face how great they are and although the people who purposely do this aren't too common, the way that life is portrayed on social media can easily make you feel inadequate.
I have those days where I look at my blog and my photos and my Instagram and think "am I ever going to be successful?" I don't have a wardrobe full of Chanel handbags, I don't have super edgy pastel colour hair and I don't live on a pretty London street full of fresh flowers. I'm not in a "girl gang" and I don't have loads of famous blogger friends. Oh how I wish I could have all of that and I'm not slating anyone who does but it can be difficult not to compare yourself to these Instagram feeds and think "that'll never be me."
"if not me, who? if not now, when?' - Mikhail Gorbachev